Les Misérables Readalong | Week Five: Valjean

Welcome back to Miserable Monday! For those who don’t know, my friend Emma @ The Terror of Knowing and I are hosting #MiserablesMay, a Les Miserables readalong that is taking place throughout the month of May. We announced it last month, and I wasn’t 100% sure I thought it was a good idea to tackle such a long book that I didn’t have much interest in reading. Good news though, I finished the book on time, and have read and reviewed Volume I here, Volume II here, Volume III here and Volume IV here if you want a refresher.

This was a short reading week because there were only 5 days left of May to finish one of the longer sections of the book. I managed though, and finished the book on May 31st, so just squeezed in on time!

Now, a small disclaimer before I start: Emma is the English student and the more academically minded reviewer out of the pair of us. It’s great, she writes incredible reviews that mix knowledge and academia with humour and gifs, and is the place to go for the more in depth reviews/updates. Mine are going to be a little shorter, and probably lacking an seriousness at all, so strap in!

Things I learnt from Les Miserables: Volume V

• A tip here Victor, why not discuss the barricade relevant to our story and not every other one in French History? Thanks.
• There was no applause at the end of that motivational speech because it went on for that long that the war had probably ended and everyone had gone home for a cuppa.
• Let’s be real, Javert wouldn’t survive the banter from Gavlar’s stag go if he can’t even cut if tied to a pole. Definitely not the Archbishop of Banterbury or the Bantersaurus Rex.

• Smoooooooth. A very well placed tear rolling down the face of Enjolras. He always hit me as the kinda guy who could cry out of one eye.
• Mhmm oh sure Jean, we all just have a spare double-barrelled rifle hanging around, sure.
• All hail the mattress. ALL HAIL THE MATTRESS.

• Serious note: Gavroche’s death was actually quite sad.
• Despots this and despots that. What is with this despot love in please?
• Enjolras’s mistress. Excuse you, don’t go breaking Grantaire’s heart
• What’s happened to your hat? Who knows, but Javert will probably have one to lend to you?!
• We’ve had pages of slow shit and then BOOM. All dead.
• Ahahaha. LAD. Grantaire has been so drunk he’s missed all the action and they thought he was dead. Now he’s got the mother of all hangovers. S’ok though, you’ll die in a minute hun.
• OH GOD the sewers, shit in every sense of the word.

• New worst chapter title award goes to Volume V: Chapter 2 Ancient History of the Sewer
• Who knew Valjean carrying Marius through a sewer would be a fascinating development but here we are.
• He’s talking about purple piles of rubbish he which is just making me think about the local council wheelie bins where I live.
• In all of the sewers in all of the cities in all of the world and you happen to wander down Thernadier’s?

• I think I am more relieved to be out of this sewer than Valjean and/or Marius right now.
• The French do love a good protest, you’re right there Victor!
• Marius is a dramatic little shit. I’ll break my bones. I’ll starve. I’ll die. All for Cosette.
• I really don’t want financial advice from you 1200 pages in Victor, I just want the end of the book. Not what I signed up for!
• Oh yay, Victor remember Madame Thernadier. Oh wait, she dead.

• OK so one minute Valjean is having a nice early night and the next second he is obliterated. That escalated quickly.
• Also, shrove Tuesday weddings bear no ungrateful is not a thing. Stop trying to make it happen.

• Tardy slumber, Remember that for next time you’re hungover and having a lie in.
• Hungry for water is called thirst. OKKKKK Sassy McSassysass.
• Valjean dropping that convict c-bomb from nowhere. You can’t catch him Thernardier, nuh uh.
• Oh he dead. Valjean dead. That’s the end. Yay.

---

I can’t believe it’s all over. A huge thank you to Emma for coming up with this idea, and thanks to you for reading along with the book and/or posts. It’s been a good month!

Did you take part?

Where are you up to? Have you finished?

What did you think?

Don’t forget post on Instagram and Twitter using the hashtag #MiserablesMay!