Last time I did an adulting post, I discussed the slightly odd feeling of scrolling through your timeline, or reading a new message from a friend that has just got engaged or married. It’s a seriously bizarre feeling of pride, and shittiness, and it is sadly not the only thing that causes it. As well as weddings, and engagements, people around my age suddenly seem to be (happily) getting pregnant and having babies.
Before I carry on with the post, I would like to say that I am really pleased for everyone. It is great news that so many of my friends are happy in their lives and relationships, and are taking the next step. It is nice to see so many joyous posts, full of pictures and sentiments of such great occasions.
I’ve gone through different thought processes of my life about the thought of having children at some point. Sometimes, I think I would love them, and that having children would be one of the most important things I could do. Sometimes, I think I live a great life and having children would prevent the lifestyle I currently enjoy living.
I think the feeling on having babies is the old cliche about a ticking clock. I’m not old, by any means, I am not approaching the end of child bearing days, but really, to have children, you need to be in a happy, and financially secure relationship. When that is not on the horizon, in the works, remotely entering the frame, the idea of having babies is very improbable. This seems to extend the likelihood of this happening beyond the near future. Not knowing if you want kids is pretty normal, but not being in a position to actually think it through or to have the opportunity to have them is slightly rubbish and slightly scary.
Not only are pregnancy announcements filled with happiness and love, the pictures of babies are absolutely adorable. And what is even better than seeing baby pictures, seeing the little baby clothes and shoes, holding ickle tiny babies, and smelling that new baby smell. As much as it is lovely to have this with someone else’s child, there is an element of do I want this for myself?
There is also the element of can I have children? There isn’t a true reason that I am currently aware of that prevents me from having children. Many things develop, or come to light that prevent having children once in a happy and stable relationship. The later you leave it, the less time is left to sort them out. It’s scary, again, to potentially have the choice removed.
This, once again, is turning into a slightly over-dramatic post, and I don’t want to sound like I am a lonely weirdo wishing none of my friends happiness. I just wanted to share this odd feeling with you, I feel like it is adulting in action. My friends are growing up and adulting *better* or at a different rate to me, and that’s great, but still feels, well, odd.