Strictly Saturdays: The One with Anton’s Eye-liner

It’s that time of year again – get out your spray cans, fish out the rhinestones and sequins I know you have stashed away, and grab the wineglasses – Strictly Come Dancing is back! Yep, you read that right, the nation’s favourite Saturday night show is back on TV. And while last night was really good, I do think Strictly makes a Saturday night, and Saturday nights are made for Strictly.

This year, I happen to be living with a good friend who is also a big Strictly fan and fellow blogger. This means only one thing – doubled-up live-blogging… because bitching comments and shameless perving shouldn’t just be reserved for our living room, it should be shared with the…masses?

Here’s how it works:
Each week myself and Emma will be bringing you a tag-team live-blog of Strictly Come Dancing. We will be alternating whose blog it is posted on so if you want to keep up-to-date with our clearly deeply insightful commentaries, then you should make sure you’re following both of our blogs.

Last week, we brushed over the results show, well, completely, as we both had the result spoiled and we just never quite got round to watching the show as we were sad that the lovely Naga and Pasha departed the show!

There is also a fair amount of Strictly drama doing into this week. Brendan was quite obviously sick last week, and while we both wish him a speedy recovery, it does mean that the lovely, wonderful, beautiful Gorka is back to dance with Anastasia. But that’s not all, oh no, Laura and Giovanni will also be absent this week due to Laura’s ankle injury. More on this later…

Now, that’s all of the announcements out of the way, let’s get on with the show.

Opening Credits

Emma: Because Laura is not dancing this week, does that mean that she dances the dance she should have done this week in next week’s show or…

Liz: I have no idea, but I hope Gio dropped her.

Liz: Bringing the fire, yeah you’re bringing it Ore!

Emma: Gorka’s back.

Liz: Yeahhhhhhh he is.

Emma: I’m just going to ignore the fact he is dancing with Anastasia

Emma: Do you think this is the week Ed Balls stops being entertaining?

Walk-downs/Intro

Liz: Ooooo Claudia.

Emma: I feel Claudia deiniftely won there. He looks like Tess’s son.

Liz: I love Gorka. That suit. Wooooo, *fist pumps for Gorka*

Emma: Oh Craig, calm down.

Liz: Did Bruno just lick Darcey’s shoulder?

Emma: Ha, the star of Judge Rinder.

Liz: Oh my

Emma: Oh he’s got his shirt open

Liz: Oh Danny, Oh Gorka,

Emma: Once again, Anastasia looks really nice.

Liz: She really does, understated elegance suits her.

Robert ‘Judge’ Rinder and Oksana Platero Jive to ‘Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy’ (watch here)

Emma: That’s the campest solider I have ever seen

Liz: Well I’d expect nothing less.

Liz: Well that hand spring was unexpected

Emma: What’s with his face?

Liz: I feel Craig is going to have an issue with his face, again.

Emma: I feel like his trousers are the tightest they’ve been, I mean, look at his arse. Not that I’m looking  but you can’t not look

Liz: Can he only do moves on one leg?

Emma: That was very brave to do those moves in front of the judges knowing Craig has an issue with his face.

Judges Comments

Liz: Dave Arch!! Dave Arch!!

Liz: You put the camp into boot camp, well you’re not wrong there Len.

Emma: Oh Craig…

Liz: Tempestuous abandon. Hmm…

Emma: Translates to dances like no one is watching

Judges Scores

Emma: I hope he gets a better score, he just wants to improve. I just don’t really want to see his chest though

Liz: It feels wrong though

Emma: It looks carved

Liz: That should be a compliment but it’s just not

Craig: 6 Darcey: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 7    Total: 29

Emma: I love how him and Craig seem to be the same person

Liz: Erm….

Emma: What the fuck is this?

Liz: The T+Cs are getting ridiculous.

Lesley Joseph and Anton Du Beke Tango to ‘Whatever Lola Wants’ (watch here)

Emma: What have they done to his face? Have they lightened it? His eyes look weird.

Liz: What was the evil cackle Anton?

Emma: Are they beermats? They look like beermats.

Liz: Oh, it must be Blackpool soon…

Emma: What week are we on?

Loz: No idea, but it must be Hallowe’en week next week.

Emma: Maybe the week after?

Liz: Was that a lift??

Emma: Well technically…well..yeah? I think he was just getting her down off the chair though.

Liz: Ooo that dress swirls well.

Emma: I’ve always wanted an excuse for a dress that swirls and swishes, but you don’t get the chance every day to wear that sort of dress.

Liz: Sadly you don’t, no.

Emma: Ouch that looked juddery, bouncy

Liz: It’s the height difference

Emma: Did he just smash something there?

Liz: I hope not, who ever goes next will struggle if he did?

Judges’ Comments

Liz: Bruno really does like to grab and hit Len, doesn’t he.

Emma: Len’s face!

Liz: I don’t know how she can lower her shoulders when she can barely reach Anton to start with.

Judges’ Scores

Liz: I love how Anton changes mistake to different, so cute Anton.

Craig: 5 Darcey: 6 Len: 7 Bruno: 6    Total: 24

Greg Rutherford and Natalie Lowe Cha Cha to ‘We Found Love’ (watch here)

Emma: Do you even realise you make those noises?

Liz: What noises?

Emma: Every time she is mentioned you sigh and groan.

Liz: A huge night, no shit you won gold! Bitch, that’s really thoughtful

Emma: Is he going to shake his bum?

Liz: I hope so

Emma: I don’t know if this is a cha cha song and that’s a very sparkly shirt

Liz: I don’t like this

Emma: I don’t like the music

Emma: Oh Jesus

Liz: This isn’t a club guys!

Emma: I hate this music, it doesn’t go with this dance

Liz: This is really bad, I hate Natalie

Emma: No offence, I know you like Greg, but this is shit.

Liz: It’s all HER fault.

Emma: Bitch

Judges’ Comments

Emma: He’s not wrong, but it sounds so harsh when Craig says it.

Liz: Oh no Darcey sounds like she’s gearing up, starting nice to land the insult.

Emma: He looks like he is going to cry a bit

Liz: I agree with Len, he didn’t look like he liked it or felt confident doing it.

Emma: Emphasis on the muscular there.

Liz: Bruno!! You can’t *sigh* No Bruno, I don’t want him to have to do it again.

Judges’ Scores

E: He looks like he is crying a bit. I don’t want Greg to cry.

Craig: 4 Darcey: 6 Len: 7 Bruno: 7    Total: 24

Emma: If it was so shit like you said, how the fuck can you give it a 7? I used to respect Len’s opinion, but I’m not sure I do now.

Anastasia and Gorka Marquez Quickstep to ‘My Kind of Town (watch here)

Liz: In the loveliest way, I don’t want Brendan to get better, because Gorka in a double breasted suit…

Emma: I’m pleased Gorka is back

Liz: And quickstep is my favourite dance. I’m so pleased I get to see Gorka do this.

Liz: I prefer Gorka’s Brendan than Brendan’s Brendan

Emma: I love Gorka

Liz: I almost like Anastasia when she dances with Gorka

Emma: Craig looked a bit…..

Liz: That was the best she has danced.

Judges’ Comments

Emma: You have the break them in? Where is the metaphor going?

Liz: I agree Len, I agree. Sack Brendan!!

Emma: Stop flirting Bruno.

Liz: God, Gorka in the suit.

Judges’ Scores

Liz: Superhero Gorka…I’d see him in Spandex

Craig: 7 Darcey: 7 Len: 8 Bruno: 8     Total: 30

Emma: She does something like that and I hate her again

Len: See, keep Gorka!

Emma: Do you think Brendan will be out next week? *coughs* Brendan’s a shit dancer *coughs*

Louise Redknapp and Kevin Clifton Rumba to ‘Always On My Mind’ (watch here)

Liz: I never feel comfortable watching Kevin doing a Rumba

Emma: What the fuck is that hat? I like his coat though.

Emma: Are they going to Paris?

Liz: I think so?!

Emma: They’re going to Paris

Liz: Oh to be able to day trip to Paris.

Emma: I do really like his coat.

Liz: I just don’t really like the rumba

Emma: Nah, it’s boring. Let’s hope they make it sweet. I like her dress though

Liz: Ooooh I like this song

Emma: It’s still a rumba though, isn’t it

Liz: It doesn’t feel like I am spying through a keyhole though, which is always nice

Emma: That was sweet.

Liz: Ramped up the ending though.

Emma: Still a rumba.

Judges’ Comments

Liz: A plateau? She’s really good.

Emma: Well it’s a rumba, what do you want them to do?

Liz: It’s hardly a showy dance.

Emma: It was quite an elegant rumba, but it was still a rumba

Liz: That’s what he does though, it’s always romantic and elegant.

Liz: Ooo bitchy Craig. Meow.

Emma: Claudia’s tower, I like it,

Judges’ Scores

Emma: I don’t know how Craig can say that. It’s the rumba, I could literally dance it and fall asleep standing up.

Liz: I feel like Danny Mac’s will be less classy, more raunch.

Craig: 8 Darcey: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 8     Total: 33

Liz: I’m confused

Emma: What? Don’t get me wrong I like Kevin and Louise but…

Liz: I don’t understand. That rendition of Heads and Shoulders was an abomination.

Ed Balls and Katja Jones American Smooth to ‘(Is This The Way To) Amarillo (watch here)

Liz: Hitchhikers and Amarillo don’t scream smooth to me

Emma: It was so shit last week there is no where to go but up

Liz: I feel like this might be alright. He could sort of waltz.

Emma: You need to do the dance a bit in Strictly come dancing. He’s trying though, isn’t he.

Liz: I hope it’s good

Emma: I really hope it goes well for him

Liz: Go Ed!

Emma: C’mon on Ed, I never though I would say that about Ed Balls

Liz: He looks weird with a backpack.

Emma: Shit he nearly dropped her!!

Liz: Oh God that went wrong.

Emma: I don’t want to watch in case he picks her up again

Liz: I’m genuinely gutted about that

Emma: Shit he’s doing something else with her, she’s going to fly off.

Loz: I didn’t need to see him try that lift again.

Emma: Is that to prove he can do it? She trusts him clearly

Liz: Do you know what though, he could have dropped her completely, he did well to save it.

Judges’ Comments

Liz: What they’re basically saying is, when he does the dance he can do it….

Liz: That’s just pointlessly harsh Craig, they didn’t say that in previous weeks when other contestants did more than 3 lifts.

Emma:’’We’ll do it in the bar after’’ I want to be there

Liz: Where does he get the puns from? Len must hide a book away.

Emma: I don’t know, I didn’t like watching it there, I thought I was about to watch a car crash

Judges’ Scores

Liz: Ed has lost some serious weight, he looks quite good.

Craig: 2 Darcey: 6 Len: 6 Bruno: 4     Total: 18

Liz: Well it’s higher than last week.

Emma: Do I want to see Ed in Hallowe’en week? Yeah I do.

Liz: So do I. He’ll go for it.

Ore Oduba and Joanne Clifton Waltz to ‘I Will Always Love You’ (watch here)

Emma: He keeps pointing at her. I just love it.

Liz: I love these two. That jive was so good. I’d like him to stop crying but

Emma: Does he not realise he can dance?

Emma: Did he just say Manchester is resplendent when it’s pissing it down?

Liz: The Brownlee’s are so Yorkshire.

Liz: Tuuuuuuune!

*silence throughout the entire dance*

Emma: Why’s he crying?

Liz: That was really good.

Emma: Awww Kevin looked so proud!

Judges’ Comments

Liz: Short and sweet. Wow.

Emma: He was already crying.

Liz: He does do slow bits really well.

Liz: It’s nice to see chemistry that doesn’t make me question what is going on off camera, must be a Clifton family charm

Emma: Is his background solely in reporting?

Liz: Yep, I think so.

Emma: They only say they can do the character of the dance when they’re actually actors.

Judges’ Scores

Craig: 9 Darcey: 9 Len: 9 Bruno: 9     Total: 36

Liz: I just love them. So much for Strictly being racist!

Daisy Lowe and Aljaz Skorjanec Charleston to ‘Happy Feet’ (watch here)

Emma: This could be good.

Liz: In the dark???

Emma: What?!

Liz: I think she could make a good flapper

Emma: If I remember, all we said last week is how she is, well, long, so of course she do long limbs

Liz: I’m not sure about dark. But, how is he able to be adorable in the dark. His little face.

Emma: This is weird

Liz: He has a lot of faith in her for that

Liz: I feel like it’s all a little small, the Charleston should be showy

Emma: Like it’s all there, it just needs to be a bit more.

Liz: OH look at them

Emma:Look at Aljaz’s little face though.

Liz: Something went wrong there.

Emma: It’s weird that it’s small considering what we’ve discussed about her legs.

Judges’ Comments

L: I don’t really know what to say

Judges’ Scores

Emma: I say this every week, but I’m going to say it again….fuck her legs are long.

Craig: 8 Darcey: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 8     Total: 32

Emma: He’s got the highlight their phone number finger move down

Laura Whitmore and Giovanni Pernice: Bye

Liz: Yeyyyyyyyyyy.

Emma: You’re voice has come back enough for that. This might be your favourite dance that they do.

Liz: I hope she never comes back.

Emma: Do you think we’ll see the injury?

Liz: How convenient she is missing a hard dance?

Emma: She won’t do the jive next week, it won’t fit with the Hallowe’en theme.

Liz: I don’t want them to go through.

Emma: This is a shit rule.

Liz: Kick her out. Kick her out!

Danny Mac and Oti Mabuse Rumba to ‘How Will I Know) (watch here)

Liz: I somehow feel they’ll master the rumba

Emma: I feel like they should have got a 10 last week though.

Liz: I didn’t think I’d ever love these so much.

Emma: I quite like his coat.

Liz: You have a thing for coats!!

Emma: Really?! I’d never have guessed.

Emma: Oh, oh shit.

Liz: He’s got the hip action

Emma: I always feel like I am watching something I shouldn’t be when I watch these two dancing

Liz: They get very ‘close’

Emma: That was a good spin. It’s just so slow

Liz: This is as griping as a rumba gets though

Emma: I feel like they were actually attached at the mouth there and we are seeing something we shouldn’t be seeing

Liz: To be honest, that wasn’t quite as raunchy as I thought it would be.

Judges’ Comments

Liz: He can seriously dance. That said, not adding that to the list, and I don’t want to see it again.

Emma: No, it was boring Craig, it was a rumba. I feel like you and Bruno just stared at him

Liz: I think Darcey’s in love with him

Emma: I think they all are. Even Len seems a little bit in love with him

Judges’ Scores

Liz: Oh Danny!

Craig: 8 Darcey: 9 Len: 9 Bruno: 9     Total: 35

Emma: I like how matter of factly Len said that 9.

Liz: I’m losing my voice again I’m getting that into it.

Claudia Fragapane and AJ Pritchard Samba to ‘Young Hearts Run Free’ (watch here)

Emma: I don’t know why but I thought we had already seen these.

Liz: Last dance of the night already?!

Emma: Well this should be entertaining.

Liz: They don’t look old enough to be dancing in a nightclub setting

Emma: I’m so glad to see some speed after the rumbas

Liz: AJ was definitely eyeing up Bruno there.

Liz: She’s trying a bit too hard to be a bit too precise, not free enough.

Emma: I don’t think I really like sambas, I think I’ve just realised that

Judges’ Comments

Emma: That was a step up from the ‘you tried’.

Liz: She looks so gutted.

Liz: AJ knew what he was doing there.

Emma: So really then, technically that’s not really her fault. It’s AJ’s for putting too much in there

Liz: Agreed.

Judges’ Scores

Craig: 8 Darcey: 7 Liz: 8 Bruno: 9:     Total: 32

Emma: Did Darcey just get booed?

Liz: I think she did

Emma: 9?! What the fuck Bruno?

Liz: It was the AJ smile aimed just at home.

Liz: Oh no, look whose back.

Emma: This is really annoying, isn’t it?!

Conclusion

Liz: I like watching it with enough time to vote on the dances and not just who I like. To be fair, that still counts for most of it…but.

Emma: Hallowe’en week next week.

Liz: I always feel like, despite the jokey themes and costumes, it always gets serious at Hallowe’en week!!

Emma: It’s quite nice to go a week without having to watch Laura, and Brendan actually.

Liz: I hope every week is like that.

Emma; Ed Ball’s dance added a level of stress and trauma that I wasn’t expecting.

Liz: Yes, that was pretty uncomfortable to watch. I am hoping that they don’t have to dance again just so we know Katja is safe for another week!

Well, another week over. It was full of drama to say the least. One thing Emma and I are definitely sure on is that we don’t like rumbas. At all. In any way. Anyway, until tomorrow night…

…keep dancing.


Results

Emma: I like the concept of this pro-dance, but the execution, not so much

Liz; I don’t really like it. I feel like there is little dancing and lots of faffing.

Emma: I like the tap dance off between Kevin and Anton though

Liz: Well if those two were ever going to have a dance off….Kevin would obv win.

Emma: And they weren’t at all typecasting people from a Grimbsy as a lower class, what with him being a shoe shiner

Liz: Or Darcey the ballerina as the posh uptown girl?

Emma: Is Leanne Rhimes still going?

Liz: Gorka and Oti make the rumba watchable!

Dance-Off

Well, as much as I like Lesley and Anton, they were never ever going to survive a dance-off against Daisy and Aljaz. I mean no disrespect, but they were never going to be able to complete their tango better than Daisy’s Charlston. I think Aljaz could have dropped her and they would still have gone through. That said, we both do think out of the pair of them Lesley should have gone, and are both a little bit disappointed, We stand by our weekly utterance that she would have been a force had she been twenty or thirty years younger!

Well, the numbers are wittiling down, and if there is bad news (or good news, depending on how you look at it) about Laura this week then the show she be almost culling the contestants. As much as I hope Brendan and Laura get well soon, I think we are both secretly hoping that Gorka is there next week, and that Laura is still absent.

We shall see. In the interim…

….Keep dancing!

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